Jerry Lawlers Balls

Found myself recently in the possession of a DVD that documented the entire Jerry Lawler vs Austin Idol and Tommy Rich feud. This was a great DVD cause it not only showed the big matches in the feud but also the angles and interviews. So Zom will try to tell you about how Jerry 'The King' Lawler lost one of his balls in blog format. Seems Jerry, The King of Memphis and resident young girl molestor, was going to get a shot at The A.W.A World Heavyweight Champion Tricky Nicky Bockwinkel. Well about this time Tommy 'Wildfire' or in his words 'WILDFAR' Rich was returning to Memphis. Tommy the southern cornbread (again in his words) boy was told by Eddie Marlin that he would get the shot at the verbose Bockwinkel. Well, Tommy was a little irked (do country boys get irked? No? Well Tommy was pissed).



At the same time the handsome 'Universal Heart Throb' Austin Idol was in the territory and was a big babyface (good guy) too. Well he was kind of mad too cause 'The King' seemed to always get the title shots even though others held the regions titles. Well anyway, this angle built slowly with both 'WildFAR' and Idol cutting babyface interviews but throwing in that they were a little 'irked' about the title situation.



Now in todays WWE/TNA shitfest they would have done the angle on one show and blew it off on another. This went on for weeks with the slow burn. Then finally 'King' Jerry got his match. Tommy was at ringside and when Bock was trying some underhanded moves Tommy got on the apron to tell the ref "hey fucker 'Wildfar' saw Bockwinkel pullin' some sheeee-it'. At that time Nicky whipped Jerry into the ropes and The King and Tommy collided. Sure it was an accident... or was it! Later when 'Bannana Nose' Lance Russell and Dave Brown were commentating the clip they showed in slow mo that Tommy had raised his elbow and actually clunked The King about the noggin and Bockwinkel got the pin. Then... IT WAS ON. Jerry did the same thing to Rich and cost him a match next thing you knew the two were hated rivals.



Idol got thrown into the mix and the two dastardly blondes made it their personal mission to fuck with Lawler. The interviews were great with the classy muscleman Idol spouting his hatred for Lawler followed by the maniacal rants of redneck Rich ("did somebody say somethin' 'bout gettin' CRAZY?"). It all came to an end for Jerry 'The Kings' royal testicle when he was facing one of the dastardly duo and the two jumped on Jerry and then each grabbed a leg and pulled 'The King' junk first into the ringpost. Lawler was out for an undetermined time and his ball was out forever.



Many interviews were cut about 'The King' being "half a man". And when 'The King' returned he wanted vengeance... and balls! Rich's balls! Idols BALLS! And he wanted them balls pronto. So Jerry aquired the services of one Bam Bam Bigelow 'The Beast of the East'. The 400+ pound mad man with the flaming skull tattoo was a genuine monster. Finally he and Lawler got Idol and Rich in a tag No DQ match and what they did to Tommy Rich was just brutal. Rich's cock and balls took more blows than Rocco Siffredi, Peter North or Randy Spears (Ughhhhhhh!)together. And Rich ended up becoming 'Half a Man' too. There was much much more but Doctor Zom will have to save the rest for later cause this shit is giving me carpal tunnel!!! Zom OOT!